She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
