I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
