One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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