Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize