no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just pee around me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
