i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have tasted many bathrooms
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
