Nicole vs. Life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
