He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Couch. On fire.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
