i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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