Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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