it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
