I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Your tits are I can't wait for
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm like, not good at living.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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