Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
