no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
