Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
