We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
