So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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