Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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