She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Drake has all the answers
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
