It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
