I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
