I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize