i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
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i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize