I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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