i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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