I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
