just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize