I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's never too late to be topless.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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