I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize