i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize