I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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