I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I party with great urgency now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize