Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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