Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
