you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
