She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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