I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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