You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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