God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize