At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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