I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
