i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
