Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
