living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
