he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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