i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need a beard to bite.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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