she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
