They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize