omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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