areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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