She said her name was "party"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
