my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
