Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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